Similarities between Lincoln & Kennedy
History Lesson
Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
What I Learned From Noah
Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark...
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals
Can You Read This ?
This is the test the cambridge used 2 conclude their research. Inside it u will find the explanation...
Can you raed tihs?
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt...
Can you raed tihs?
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt...
Rearrange the Letters
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
Lessons in Logic
Practice makes perfect.
But nobody's perfect.
so why practice?
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep .
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning .
The more you learn, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you forget.
The more you forget, the less you know.
So... why learn ?
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
What more can I say...
But nobody's perfect.
so why practice?
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep .
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning .
The more you learn, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you forget.
The more you forget, the less you know.
So... why learn ?
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
What more can I say...
Believe It Or Not!
* A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
* A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
* A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
* A snail can sleep for three years.
* All Polar bears are left-handed.
* American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
* Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
* An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
* Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
* Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
* Butterflies taste with their feet.
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.
* Cat's urine glows under a black light.
* China has more English speakers than the United States.
* Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
* Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
* Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
* Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
* February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
* Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
* "I am" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language
* If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.
* If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
* If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
* If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.
* If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
* In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
* In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
* It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
* Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
* Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
* Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
* More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
* No word in the English language rhymes with month.
* Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
* On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
* One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.
* Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
* Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
* Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."
* Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
* Starfish haven't got brains.
* Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
* The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
* The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.
* The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
* The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
* The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
* The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
* The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
* The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
* The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
* The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
* The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
* The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
* The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
* The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
* The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
* The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
* There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
* TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
* Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
* You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
* You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
* You share your birthday with at least nine million other people in the world.
* A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
* A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
* A snail can sleep for three years.
* All Polar bears are left-handed.
* American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
* Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
* An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
* Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
* Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
* Butterflies taste with their feet.
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.
* Cat's urine glows under a black light.
* China has more English speakers than the United States.
* Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
* Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
* Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
* Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
* February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
* Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
* "I am" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language
* If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.
* If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
* If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
* If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.
* If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
* In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
* In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
* It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
* Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
* Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
* Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
* More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
* No word in the English language rhymes with month.
* Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
* On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
* One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.
* Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
* Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
* Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."
* Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
* Starfish haven't got brains.
* Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
* The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
* The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.
* The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
* The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
* The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
* The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
* The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
* The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
* The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
* The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
* The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
* The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
* The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
* The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
* The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
* The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
* There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
* TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
* Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
* You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
* You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
* You share your birthday with at least nine million other people in the world.
Ever Wonder...?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why the airport is called the terminal if flying is so safe?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why is the blackboard green?
Why are boxing rings square?
Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?
Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it?
Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
Why is it called ‘free gift’ when all gifts are free?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
What do you call male ballerinas?
What is a male ladybug called?
How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from?
then what is baby oil made from?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?
If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?
If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ?
The word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?
When you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window.
but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window.
The ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune.
You can prick your finger but your can’t finger your prick.
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